This was not easy for me to write. I’ve been pouring over this for the last few weeks and I announced this, informally, over Twitter but now it’s time to get a few things out in the open. I have decided, given recent events and turmoil, that I need a break from video-game criticism. A long break. See, I care, and I want you to be informed of this way in advance. I will be taking this break after the release of the final Up, Down, Left, Right Volume which should be early next year or so. Yes, announcing very early, but I needed to get this off of my chest.
Reasons as to why I’m semi-quitting?
1) I’m neglecting my fiction writing too much and I simply do not have the time to edit my novels and such.
2) I want to start professionally working in film journalism and writing about video-games is taking time away from that much-needed ‘experience’.
3) I have lost the true ‘passion’ which I started writing with nearly four years ago. I need time to recharge.
4) I am sick to fucking death (I know I don’t swear often) of just how much of a terrible, terrible industry we have. A world where Far Cry 2 (probably one of the greatest non-linear experiences ever constructed) has now turned into ‘FIND YOUR GIRLFRIEND! DERP FORCED PRE-DETERMINED CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS’ and goddamn dubstep trailers.
5) I am sick to death of being constantly disappointed by developers. Namely, a certain BioWare.
6) I love Double Fine and (now) the Mojam projects truly undermining the traditional business model of ‘entertainment’, completely ruining the very role of publishers too. But it isn’t enough.
7) I feel like my words aren’t having any effect whatsoever. The whole “Industry needs more people like you” praise just doesn’t suit me, because a lot of other people do it so much better than I do.
8) More importantly, I am sick of you. Gamerkind has been nothing but a bunch of rotten, ignorant and selfish bunch of folks who seem to undermine the very medium they’ve been following. The ‘Jaffegate‘ scandal (which I’ll be writing about this weekend) is the absolute pinnacle over just how much of an immature, raving and seriously downright pretentious bunch of people we can be. Not just that but just how we completely misunderstand basic thoughts about the medium and seem to cling old medium’s techniques to our chest rather than let our own flourish.
9) I just give up. I haven’t had a paid gig in the near four years I’ve been writing and something is telling me it’s probably because I am not that good of a writer. I’m an absolutely terrible writer by professional standards and I have no right to criticise game journalism or gamerkind or anyone without a proper, presented and thought-out argument. I need to refresh my skills and just improve before going truly public.
10) University is on the horizon and I simply won’t have time to write as much as I want about video-games.
I think that just about covers my reasons. In short; I’m pissed off, exhausted, I’ve snapped, I’m tired, I’m a hack of a writer, I have no idea what I’m doing, I want to find my passion again and… I just don’t care like I used to. I’m now planning out Game Critique Corners leading all the way to next year and I’m trying to find some bits to shove in here and there (maybe some surprise ‘essays’ like the good old days). Otherwise, yeah, I surrender. You win, tide of mediocrity. You win, consumerism. I have no idea for how long this break will last, but more than a ‘couple of years’ probably.