Born like this
Into this
As the chalk faces smile
As Mrs. Death laughs
As the elevators break
As political landscapes dissolve
As the supermarket bag boy holds a college degree
As the oily fish spit out their oily prey
As the sun is masked
We are
Born like this
Into this
Into these carefully mad wars
Into the sight of broken factory windows of emptiness
Into bars where people no longer speak to each other
Into fist fights that end as shootings and knifings
Born into this

Charles Bukowski, “Dinosauria, We” (The Last Night of the Earth Poems)

The Accompaniment

Selection of songs to serve as a backing track to the rest of this piece.

Content-warning: physical abuse, sexual abuse, animal abuse.

This is not a fun piece. It includes meandering of conscious thoughts and threads. I have attempted to give as much evidence basis to a central argument as possible. It is also very long.

Buckle up.

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Why Trump is Literally Wario (Literally)

 An exploration of what Trump’s administration means for Mario lore.

“Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To say that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.”
– Robert Frost, ‘Fire and Ice’ (1920)

A Spectre is Haunting the Mushroom Kingdom

In two days time Donald John Trump will take the Oath of office of the President of the United States. He will become the 45th President and preside over the world’s superpower. Alongside a nuclear arsenal, massive surveillance state, and the military, he will gain the treats attached to all the Presidential ceremonies. He will join the great continuity stretching from Washington to Lincoln to Kennedy to Johnson to Reagan to Obama to him. He will gain a Presidential library. Schools and memorials will be dedicated to his memory.

His inauguration brings to a close the long twentieth-century. With it, globalisation shivers and fascist isolationism is brought back with teeth to boot. President Donald John Trump. President Donald John Trump. The thing that should not have happened has happened. President Donald John Trump. President Donald John Trump.

So what does this mean for Mario?

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Lyin’ Ted!



I am on my break between Cambridge terms and, loosely inspired by Donald Trump tweets, I decided to write a short sitcom Pilot script about Ted Cruz living with Snoop Dogg. It’s not that funny and filled with gross humour but I decided to share it on my barren blog wasteland.

I am also writing a novel-thing. More soon. Exams first. Finals. Fuck.

Read Lyin’ Ted! for free here: Lyin’ Ted!


Aid my friends

It’s never occurred to me to ever use Blogossus for a political means. I’m intensely political myself but that’s the root of the problem. If I did have a politics blog then I’d spend half of it explaining why I’m libertarian-ish, half of it on why I’m a liberal-conservative-ish and the other half debating math. I have followed every election in the USA, UK and beyond for the last four years and seen my own beliefs shift and change. This year marks the Presidential Election to which I shan’t spent too long drifting thoughts around. I’m currently writing a dystopic novella set in the cut-throat possible Romney administration if you want an idea of where those thoughts would be directed.

A few of my friends have decided to be incredible idiots and campaign for Romney. Actually that’s a complete joke, they were given the opportunity for overseas campaign experience over there and got selected to the Red Elephants completely at random. A tragedy really.

Apparently they need my help promoting whatever the hell their doing. Their campaign is being funded by some schoolkids or something. I have no idea what it is. Honestly, how do i romney?

I actually had the same opportunity but I’m an idiot and failed. Yes. Let’s go with that!

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